I was just thinking how I would call the entry today and I was like : 'Well I need a song that fits to my situation." And then I found "Nothing to lose" by Bret Michaels and somehow the title was perfect for today. Coincidence.
I often wonder what he's doing now, how he feels, if he's happy. With her. If she moves him, if they talk, if she's interested in his person like I was. If she asks him the same questions like I did and if their relation goes deeper. Questions and thoughts are circling through my head. I'm not sad, really. I don't even understand it, but that's just the way it goes.
He wrote me. He really did. It was just 'Hey what are you doing, bla bla..' But I was so happy and it was so nice I'm somehow not sad. I think alot, but I think I was never really sad..at least you can't compare it to last year.
But yesterday I thought I lost the necklace that he gave me. Well in fact I didn't but I thought it...and I CRIED. I don't know why but obviously I don't wanna lose any memory...The necklace means the world to me.
Right now I'm reading a book which is really spiritual. It's about a man who tries to find hisself by hiking through Spain. Somehow I can relate to his story.
Well anyway, I don't want him back. I am looking for new ones. Well I hope that's possible, but maybe still a little early. We'll see.
Won't you fall down on me